Conflict resolution methods in family matters

Disputes in the partnership or family are often very painful. Emotional injuries lead to loss of trust, failed relationships to fear of loss, looking back on years of investment of feelings and commitment to frustration and resignation. This often results in extreme positioning concerning one’s own needs. Everyone tries to balance the “inner bookkeeping” somehow. However, family ties often exist beyond the end of a partnership or marriage: shared children, jointly created values, shared relationships with third parties. To protect these continuing ties, you should choose very carefully how you want to resolve your conflict. I will support you in making the best choice for you and your family system. I will tell you openly if, in my view, none of the methods I offer can be helpful for you and will refer you to other professionals if you wish.

Legal counselling

The best way to get information is to give information.

The Italian statesman Niccolo Macchiavelli describes in principle what is one of the essential factors in the lawyer-client business relationship, along with mutual trust: Information. A lawyer can only work well if his/her client gives him all the essential information. And a client can only make good decisions if he/she has the information he/she needs to do so.

Even if I do not appear for you in court or never meet the other conflict party, I can support you: by providing comprehensive legal and tactical advice. This also includes my assessment of your case’s chances of success, trained by many years of experience.
You are also welcome to seek a second opinion from me if you are unsure. You want to make a good decision: get all the information you need to do so!

Mediation

Where a previously well-functioning communication has faltered, and the kitchen table becomes a wall instead of a “round table”, a “translation” is often all that is needed to be able to “hear” the concerns of the other side again. With my professional support, you structure your conflict points that need to be settled, define a “road map”, and a time frame within which you would like to reach your initially defined goal. In suitable cases and with appropriate preparation, I offer short-term mediations in which a conflict is dealt with within half a day or a whole day and resolved with an agreement.

Short-term mediation

In suitable cases, I offer the possibility of dealing with a concrete and limited conflict within a single session and within a pre-determined time. Short-term mediation requires careful preparation of the – single – session by the mediator and the mediators. The mediator strictly structures the session. The content is determined by the mediators – as in mediation procedures with several sessions. It is the mediators’ responsibility to ensure that they have obtained all the important information for their decision in advance.
Talk to me about whether this option is suitable in your case.

CLP (Collaborative Law & Practice)

Technically complex issues cannot always be dealt with by the conflict parties alone. A mediator who has to be abstinent in terms of content so that she is perceived as neutral by all conflict parties can usually no longer absorb this. External lawyers cannot understand the developments that the parties and their conflict experienced during mediation. Their legal advice then sometimes comes like “blows” from the background and is not always helpful for resolving the dispute. And the sword of Damocles of the contentious process constantly dangles over you. In CLP, all parties agree at the beginning that the proceedings will take place exclusively outside of court. Here, the lawyers accompany you throughout the entire conflict resolution process. They advise and support you in finding a good solution for the whole family system. If necessary, other professionals can be consulted by mutual agreement (e.g. a neutral accountant who evaluates one spouse’s business). If you would like to know more about this model, please call me. I will be happy to send you information material for you to look at and discuss with your spouse. You can find more information about CLP and a search for professionals at www.clp.ch . Also, I will provide a list of English speaking Collaborative Professionals so you and your spouse / your partner can negotiate and be supported in your own language.

As a rule, we try to avoid conflicts or settle them amicably. Where this does not succeed, I will stand by you as your legal representative. A lack of agreement or court proceedings does not necessarily mean that you will find yourself in a “war of the roses”. Even in court and with the support of the court, you can still find settlement solutions. Years of court proceedings are usually unnecessary, but they do happen because our influence on the other side is minimal. Sometimes an instance with official authority has to cut the knot to end a conflict.

I aim to guide you through the dispute to its resolution or termination in the best possible way, de-escalate, and find constructive solutions wherever possible. I do not litigate for the sake of litigation. I do not see myself as part of your conflict but want to be part of the solution.